Posts Tagged ‘Death’
The Healing of Fond Farewells
In this season where earth’s colors bid us farewell and are tucked away for winter’s long night, death has been a visitor at my door. It came to claim my coworker’s father, my dear friend’s beloved dog, and a car full of young people.
I didn’t know the four people, all in their early 20’s, who died in the crash. But the accident happened just down the road and it awakened memories of a crash that happened at this time of year, twenty years ago, that took the life of my own son.
The sense of sorrow I felt over the loss of these people, and of my friend’s dog, was an empathic sorrow, the sorrow of sympathy. I know so well how the death of a loved one leaves a permanent vacancy in the world, an emptiness that no one can fill.
At first, pain tries to fill it. But the emptiness is bigger than pain, and it remains even after the pain finally subsides. It doesn’t ever go away, but instead, it finds its own quiet place in your heart to call its own where it holds a space for that being you so loved. And in time, you make peace with it and it takes on a special kind of beauty.
When you sit with it, from some dimension beyond your knowing it sends you golden memories. It echoes with the voice, the touch, the spirit and laughter of your loved one. You see the sparkling eyes again, and feel the quality of the love you shared and sense, somehow, that the love lives on, that mere death cannot dissolve it.
And from within this knowing, you wrap your loved one in gratitude and appreciation for all the bright seasons that you shared. “Farewell,” your spirit whispers. “Farewell,” your loved one’s spirit whispers to you in return. And you dance in the emptiness that you hold for your beloved, and your heart learns again how to sing.
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