High on Happiness

Archive for the ‘Happiness Hows’ Category

Take time for some moments of ease in your life, some moments for letting cares go.  Few are the problems that will not wait, or benefit, from being forgotten for awhile.

Walk somewhere that you can see a tree, a flower, the broad expanse of sky.  Walk easily, as if all the time in the world was yours (for it is, you know, and you’re free to spend it as you will).

Sit on a patch of grass.  Rifle your hands through it and feel how alive it is.  Feel the soil beneath it, the stuff that gives birth to everything that sustains us.  Breathe the air; inhale its fragrances; feel its warmth.

Hear the world’s music.  The delicate rustling of leaves, the chirping of birds.  Pretend you’re a kid again: Cup your hands over your ears and roll them forward and back and listen to the sounds change and laugh at the miracle of hearing.

Look at the wondrous expanse of sky, its light veiling the cosmos.  Watch the heaped clouds, made of nothing but water, floating on the wind.

Study it all as if you were seeing it for the first time, or as if you had just been told that in two weeks you would be blind.  See the spectrum of hues and shades, the patches of light, of reflection, of shadow.  See the magnificent complexity of it all, the precision of its design—all purposeful, all pleasing.

Let it pour into you like warm honey.  Taste its sweetness.  Feel your connection to it, for this is your home.

The small pleasures, the moments of sweetness and ease, are balm for the soul.  Make time for them, and they will bring you healing and joy.

“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” ~William James

Oh, how we long to be appreciated!  For building a bond or strengthening one, nothing surpasses the connecting power of appreciation.  Children blossom in its light; marriages warm; friendships deepen.  Professional connections take on greater significance; neighbors become friends.

“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread,” said Mother Teresa.  Feed someone with appreciation, and you are nourishing his or her very soul.

When you convey your genuine appreciation for someone, you’re letting her know that she’s real for you, that you have heard her, paid attention, noticed and value what she said or did or tried to do.

Appreciation recognizes the goodness in others.  It happens when something about someone touches us in a way that makes us feel uplifted and proud.  Touching our minds, it takes the shape of respect, or admiration, or esteem.  Touching our hearts, it delights us and makes us feel that we have spotted a precious treasure, and it moves us to cherish and adore something in the person who moved us in such a beautiful way.

But the true magic of appreciation is in the expression of it.  Once it’s kindled within us, it wants to leap forth.  It likes to be wrapped in notes and acts of kindness and in words.  “That was wonderful!” it cries.  “I love the way you do that.”  “You really inspired me.”  “That was amazing!”   “Gosh, I love your face in the morning.”  “Wow, you really worked hard at that!  Great job!”

It’s the giving that makes appreciation come alive, that sends it reverberating back and forth between the recipient and giver in an interplay of deepening recognition and meaning.  It’s the dance of human connection, the weaver and restorer of relationships.  It’s the sharing of the bread that feeds our souls.

Withdrawing from the busy world, he claims twenty minutes as his own.   He settles himself comfortably into his chair, closes his eyes and inhales a full volume of air.

As he exhales in a long, luxurious sigh, he feels all the tension leave his body.  Again he breathes in deeply.  Again, he exhales and feels every muscle in his body softening, as if he were weightless and floating on air.

After the third deep, relaxing breath, he lets his breathing find its own rhythm, watching it flow of its own accord.

He feels his body expand with every in-breath as the cool, fresh air enters him.  “Wellness,” he whispers silently to himself, imagining he is breathing in a divine elixir that brings his mind and body perfect health.

As he watches his breath flow from him, he silently whispers, “Peace.” It is his offering to the world and he gives it with sincerity and love.

His mind grows as still as a woodland creek on a windless August afternoon.  “Wellness,” he breathes; “Peace.”  Thoughts come and go, like leaves floating on water.  The mind will do what the mind will do.  He notices them, but their sound is muffled and seems to come from far away.

Sometimes one will capture his interest and he’ll ride with it for awhile, captivated by its intricate designs.  But then he will notice that he’s thinking, and gently let the thought go as he returns his attention to his breathing.  “Wellness,” he breathes; “Peace.”

He doesn’t think about it, but he’s aware that he has entered another dimension of consciousness, a kind of quiet communion with the transcendent intelligence within and behind the manifest world.   It’s nothing he could describe in words, but it feels wholly loving, wholly powerful, both intimate and immense.  The peace of it is dynamic; its silence is the music of the spheres.  He has no desire to understand or define it.  He simply sinks into it and allows it to fill his being.

After twenty or so minutes have passed, his phone’s alarm softly vibrates.  He takes a long, deep breath and begins to count slowly from one to five.  “Returning now,” he tells himself as his count reaches three.  “Feeling good, feeling great, feeling better than before.”

At the count of five, he opens his eyes.  The room is clear and bright and has an aura of beauty about it.  He stands, feeling awake, refreshed and at ease.

As he returns to his day, his stride has a renewed lift to it; his face wears a slight glow and an easy, peaceful smile.  He’s centered, integrated, confident and ready.  All in exchange for 20 minutes apart.

July rides into memory trailing scarlet bands of flame.  A whisper of starlight, a turn of the globe, and in will tiptoe August, her arms full of crickets and midsummer dreams.

Midnight turns to morning, days to weeks, months to years.  And before you know it, the seasons have swept a half a lifetime away.

Maybe that’s why we invented names for the days and months, why we number our years: to remind us of  how swiftly they pass.

They’re good times, these moments of transition, to write your thanks on what’s passing, to proclaim your intentions for the time to come so that you may use the swiftly flowing hours wisely and well.  Transitions let you pause and consider that time is your greatest gift, the tablet on which you write your experiences, the keeper of your memories, the giver of hope for the fulfillment of your dreams.

Transitions have the power to kindle your awareness of your mortality, of the value of each breath you take, of the importance of your choices and of your freedom to make them.  This is your one life, they say; create it as you will.

August is dawning.  What will you write across her skies?

Envision yourself being your best.

Name your primary roles in life, however you happen to see them:  partner, parent, student, salesman, accountant, business owner, seeker of truth.  Now imagine you had perfected that role, become the very best at it that you could ever be. Picture yourself as the best parent, the best partner, running the most successful business, enlightened.

Wrap the image in light.  Make it big in your mind, and radiant.

Stare at it for awhile.  Watch it move through its day.  See how it moves, what it does, how it walks, how it interacts with others.

Imagine how it feels.  Pretend you feel that way: confident, at peace, aware, responsive, at ease.

Now imagine what you’re seeing is a true image of yourself a little distance down the road.  Then see the road, bathed in light, leading right back to where you are right now, and connecting to your heart.

Ask yourself what one thing you could do to advance yourself farther down that road.  Ask yourself what one thing you could stop doing to make the journey smoother, surer.

Repeat.

“Make believe.”   Check out its definition at dictionary.com and you’ll see that when you use it as a noun, it means “pretense, especially of an innocent or playful kind; feigning; sham.” And when you use it as an adjective, it means “pretended; feigned; imaginary; made-up; unreal.”

Well, that’s pretty much what I learned growing up.  Imagination, the capacity to make believe, is a function designed for our amusement, a kind of built-in toy.  It is great fun to imagine.

Yet if you read about the word “make,” the definitions say:

“to bring into existence by shaping or changing material;” and “to produce; cause to exist or happen; bring about.”

(Hmmmm.  Sounds like some kind of alchemy to me.  I think we have a clue here.)

Leaping over to “believe,” we find “to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so.”

So if you’re doing make believe, you’re causing something to exist or happen and you have confidence in the truth and reality of it.   And what was it that Napoleon Hill said?  “What your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”  That’s some pretty heady stuff!

I say grab your big shiny “What If” hook and go fishing in the Cosmic Soup of Possibilities.  There’s no telling what you might find.  Imagine!

Remember the Land of Let’s Pretend that you visited as a child?  All you had to do was turn to your imagination and it would whisk you away to any world at all.

You could be a rock star, a cowboy, a princess, a lion.  You could fly through space or gallop across the desert on the bare back of your mighty steed. The stories were endless and oh so very real.  And your friends would be there with you, playing right along.

What if you visited Let’s Pretend again?  What if you dreamed a magical tomorrow, set a couple, three years in the future?  What if you painted it with all your fondest dreams and saw them in three dimensions, in living color with a state-of-the-art soundtrack to boot?

Imagine!  You had put all your best talents to work, had played your hardest at keeping your goals in mind.  Opportunities, resources, ideas and connections had materialized like magic, as if invisible hands were guiding you on your way.

And now, there you were, in just the place you wanted to be, confident and serene, doing the things you most wanted to do, surrounded by people who made your heart sing.  What would it look like?  How would it feel?  Can you see it?  Can you imagine?  Do you have the audacity to dream such a dream?

As today unfolds before you, open your heart to all it holds. Anticipate it with joy; drink it in fully as the moments flow past. Then, as it comes to a close, savor the beauty and richness of all it held, for each day is one of a kind, unique in all eternity.

For you, it spread its gifts – its lessons, its pleasures, its challenges and blessings.   And each was custom tailored to reflect to you who you are.

Embrace this day, and draw it into your heart with love.  Send those who played their parts in it your gratitude and well-wishes, for they were messengers sent to you to bring meaning to the day, to reflect your joy, to illuminate your shadows, to draw you more fully into the great feast of being.

See the treasures that were set so plainly before you and let your heart be filled with gladness and with thanks.

Suppose the Good Fairy showed up with an offer to build you your very own retreat—a place all your own, beautifully designed, equipped with every luxury—and a magical means to access it instantly, any time you wanted.

She says she can create it in any environment you want – woods, seashore, mountain top, desert—you name it.

Where would you ask her to have it built?  And what do you imagine it would look like?

A few years ago, my friend Faith told me, she began building an imaginary retreat, and now it has grown to a fabulous estate that she wanders at will, using as she chooses its spa, its music room, its theatre, its conference center, its meditation chapel, its library.

It has a coordinator, two personal guides, various instructors and facilitators, and sometimes other guests.  She can visit with any of them, or be entirely alone, depending on her purpose and desire.

She walks its winding paths to various gardens, some formal and ornate, some like meadows filled with wild flowers, some with fountains, some with pools.    She paddles across the retreat’s vast lake to visit a Teacher whose academy is sequestered in the base of a mountain, accessible only through a secret door.  She has a transparent crystalline transporter that carries her to other dimensions and times.

“It provides me with a place to explore solutions, to envision possibilities, to tap new levels of knowledge, and to rest and heal,” she told me.  “And it has become as tangible for me as my every day life.”

She suggested I begin building one, too.  “Start with something simple.  Some structure in your favorite kind of environment.  Go there when you meditate or when you simply need a few minutes away from the stress of your normal world.  It’s wonderfully relaxing and peaceful.”

I remembered her story today as I walked beside an emerald river, deep in a secluded wood, listening to the babbling waters, the gentle rustle of leaves, the birdsong.  This would be an ideal place for a retreat, I told myself, and I began imagining a beautiful glass-walled lodge . . .

If you were going to build a place of your own, where would you put it?  What would it look like?  You just may want to give it some thought.

“We live only to discover beauty.  All else is a form of waiting.” ~Kahlil Gibran

When beauty spreads itself before you, pause and breathe it in.  Pause, setting aside your thoughts and your doings, and let it shower you with its radiant and animating light.  Let it sing to you its song of exaltation.  Let it flow molten into the depths of you, quickening your soul with its sparks of wonder, its flame of truth.

This is a mystical training.  For beauty’s purpose is to reflect to you the essence of the light within your own heart.  It is life, dancing naked before you, taking the form of a bird, a face, a leaf, a river, a sky.  And the more deeply you see it, the more you come to understand that you, too, are its child and its expression.

Immerse yourself in it.  Ride its tender waves to the edges of the cosmos, to the pure, still point within.  Let it guide and teach you.  “When you reach the heart of life,” the poet Gibran declared, “you shall find beauty in all things, even in the eyes that are blind to beauty.”  This is its ultimate lesson.  May it be your destiny and goal.