High on Happiness

Archive for July, 2010

Good times linger longer when you share them with friends.  The banter, the laughter, the connectedness all take on a glow that stays in your heart long after everyone’s gone their separate ways.

It’s as if you collected a whole batch of treasures to take home with you:  This one’s laugh, that one’s gestures, the story that touched your heart, the news that informed you with a new point of view.  It all rolls together into one delicious, satisfying memory, and the warmth of it stays with you for hours and makes you feel good and richer and enlarged.

A couple weeks ago, I learned that the staying-power of connection is more powerful than I knew.  I was at a gathering of friends not long ago talking with a man whose live-in mother-in-law is in the late stages of Alzheimer ’s disease.  Her short term memory is nearly non-existent.  It was beginning to irritate him, he said, to be asked the same questions over and over within a few minutes.

But then he read an article describing a study that showed that friendly visits with loved ones uplifted the spirits of Alzheimer’s patients long after they had forgotten the visit took place.  So now he didn’t mind, he said, repeating the same stories over and over.  He could add new twists to them just to amuse himself, or make up better ones with happier themes.  Mom would be content for hours, and he felt good for contributing to her sense of well-being.  The warmth of shared good times provided lingering benefits to them both.  And now his telling of the story was adding uplift to my day as well.

Sharing good news  is a proven happiness element.  We all love happy-ending stories.  They’re one of the reasons we so enjoy being with other people.  But even when we share time with our buddies in silence, when our time together is spent in work or just strolling wordlessly together through the park, we get a lift from the connection.

Want to increase your happiness ratio?  Take some time for family and friends.  It will do your heart good.  And theirs, too.

My gift to you today is a quote from Fra Giovanni Giocondo, an Italian architect, engineer and archeologist from the 15th Century.   His message is my own, and I share it with you with deep happiness. . .

“I am your friend and my love for you goes deep.  There is nothing I can give you which you have not got.  But there is much, very much, that, while I cannot give it, you can take.

“No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in today.
Take heaven!

“No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instant.
Take peace!

“The gloom of the world is but a shadow.
Behind it, yet within our reach, is joy.”

Indeed.  Reach for joy.

So easily she sank into her mission.  It was all she wanted to do.  It was everything.  And yet, despite the intensity of its fire with its flames leaping skyward, or maybe because of them, she moved with utmost grace across the moments of her day.

She knew her purpose.  She had no doubts.  Her path was clear.  And even though it stretched far into the future and was shrouded in mists, she had absolute faith that it would take her to her destination.

She knew there would be obstacles and detours.  Life, after all, was full of adventures to test your resolve and challenge your ingenuity.  But she welcomed the tests, knowing they would only make her stronger and generate better ideas.  And so she met life’s surprises with openness, eager to discover what gifts they held.

From time to time, the seeming setbacks were daunting.  It took all the grit she had to remember that they, too, were a part of the path.  Sometimes she would grow weary and her faith in her purpose would falter and grow dim.  Shapes would emerge from the darkness and taunt her, telling her she was a fool, asking her who she thought she was to pursue such grandiose notions, pointing out to her that she was hopelessly lost.

But when she really thought about who she was, when she thought about what defined her, the glow of her passion would burst once more into flame.  “I am she who pursues her own dreams,” she would cry to the shapes.  And even before the words left her mouth, the shapes would vanish into the night, and the way grow clear once more to her eyes.  And she would rise, confident and at peace, and continue on.

The farther down the path she journeyed, the brighter it became.  She rejoiced in its beauty and the vistas it offered as she climbed.  Companions came to join her, and to offer her encouragement and aid.  And her heart was grateful and glad.

With every step she took, she grew stronger and more joyful.  Life’s challenges still appeared; the road still had its twists and turns.  But the song in her heart was melodious and clear, and she met all that appeared before her with ease.

One day, as she turned a bend, she found herself exactly where she had always dreamed she would be.  This was it, the destination she had been pursuing all this long time.  She let the beauty of it envelope her and sink deeply into her being, and she felt herself fill with gratitude and awe.  She lingered in the dream’s embrace for awhile, reveling in the fact that it was finally real, and lived it until she was satisfied down to her core, exploring its nuances and depths.

One evening several months later, just as the sun was setting, a peculiar beam of light illuminated a distant rise.  As she studied it, sensing that it had meaning and feeling its call, she saw that a path wound its way through the forest in its direction and felt a fiery glow spark to life within her.

Laughing, she returned home and packed her knapsack with keepsakes and tools.  And when morning came, she set out, walking with passion and ease.

Once more the swift sun rises, pouring its limitless light across the sky.  Spread open your arms and embrace its splendor.  Let it sing its possibilities into your soul and wake the very best in you.

Today you can live with graciousness and ease.  Today you can drink the exuberant Yes of life and trail peace and love wherever you go.

On this day, if you so choose, you can reach higher, laugh more, be more forgiving, dream new dreams.  You can find more wonder, dare more kindness, create more luck, sing more songs.

See the day dawn, feel its hunger for your participation in its joy.  Watch its light trail you, feeding on your crisp thoughts, your mouth-watering choices, your delicious actions, reveling in them, fueling its passion with everything you do.  Your name is written in the day’s heart.  You are why the sun rises, why the day dawns.   Make the most of it; spend it well.

Life is brief.  Unlock your dreams.
Don’t shut them behind the gate of well-designed excuses waiting for some magic tomorrow. Unchain them today; set them free.

Write a new plot for your story, beginning with today.  Write yourself a big sense of “What if?”  Spice up the first chapter with a sense of play and daring.  Hear yourself say, “Bring it on, world; I’m up for it.”  Watch yourself make the first move.

See yourself lovin’ it, asking what comes next, finding the answer, moving farther, deeper, faster into your dream.

This here is a jamming world.  It ain’t no place for sissies.  If you lock up your dreams behind I can’ts and what-will-they-thinks, those dreams are going to suffocate in the darkness and take the best of you with them.  Better to set them loose, ride them into the wind, drinking the thrill of the unknown, watching it bend to your will and desire.

Don’t know what your dream is?  Make one up.  Bring it to life, and life will bring better dreams, higher ones, truer ones right to your doorstep and ring your bell.  Even if your dream is to find your dream, give it all you’ve got, and life will give back to you in return.  That’s the way it works.

Don’t just sit there, behind your wall, behind your ornate gate of excuses.  Get out there and grab life.  Find out what turns you on and live it.  Write that bold new plot.  Unchain those dreams. Fly.

It’s become a sort of ritual for me to listen to the morning songs of the birds as I walk from the parking lot into my office.  It’s a familiar little gift of joy, given to color my day.

Once you begin to look for them, you discover little gifts of joy tucked everywhere, you know.  They come as little surprises—a glint of sunlight, a sudden swath of purple dancing across the landscape, an unexpected call or note from a friend, a fragrance wafting down the street, the wag of a dog’s tail.

They come as rewards for your willingness to take delight in life’s small and simple pleasures.  They come wrapped in whatever shape will zing little darts of joy your way.  They’re like little jewels, strewn across your path just to sparkle your day, to zap you into the moment and remind you that you’re alive, here, now, and intending to enjoy life’s pleasures.

Set your mind to looking for them, for noticing them when they appear.  Start a collection.  Make little lists, just for the fun of it.  See how many you can find.  See how many reappear, over and over, like a beloved friend come to soothe you and bring light to you day.

The morning tiptoed over the horizon to a welcoming chorus of birdsong, spilling its colorful possibilities all over the new day.

Some woke to notice only its darker clouds and concluded they meant another gloomy day of rain.  But the wise ones observed the rising gold on the horizon and expected good fortune.

As it turned out, the day met both sets of expectations.  The morning’s clouds held a little meeting and laughed tears of joy onto the day.  When they adjourned, sunshine followed in their wake and breezes, filled with the scent of summer flowers.

The gloom believers were justified early on and kept to their track throughout the day, seeing only shadows when the sun appeared, pointing them out to all who would listen, blaming them for their misery and grief.

On the other hand, the ones who anticipated good fortune found its coins heaped at their feet and smiling at them from every face in the marketplace.

And so it ever was and will be.  What you expect determines where you’ll look.  Where you look determines what you’ll see.

Remember the Land of Let’s Pretend that you visited as a child?  All you had to do was turn to your imagination and it would whisk you away to any world at all.

You could be a rock star, a cowboy, a princess, a lion.  You could fly through space or gallop across the desert on the bare back of your mighty steed. The stories were endless and oh so very real.  And your friends would be there with you, playing right along.

What if you visited Let’s Pretend again?  What if you dreamed a magical tomorrow, set a couple, three years in the future?  What if you painted it with all your fondest dreams and saw them in three dimensions, in living color with a state-of-the-art soundtrack to boot?

Imagine!  You had put all your best talents to work, had played your hardest at keeping your goals in mind.  Opportunities, resources, ideas and connections had materialized like magic, as if invisible hands were guiding you on your way.

And now, there you were, in just the place you wanted to be, confident and serene, doing the things you most wanted to do, surrounded by people who made your heart sing.  What would it look like?  How would it feel?  Can you see it?  Can you imagine?  Do you have the audacity to dream such a dream?

.

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Dare to put your dazzle on
Your clown shoes
Your big schmooze
Your can do’s,
And let it all hang out.

Hitch your wagon to a star
Open up your cookie jar
Play it on a steel guitar
And let it all hang out.

Ain’t no point in dreaming small
Grab it all; have a ball
Write it on the party wall
And let it all hang out.

Risk some sheer audacity
Show ‘em your voracity
Your limitless capacity
And let it all hang out.

Sing it loud and sing it strong
It’s your own beat and your own song
No way you can do it wrong
So let it all hang out.

Make your wishes all come true
There is nothing you can’t do
Put your coin right square on you
And let it all hang out.

Once, when my friend Holly and I were grocery shopping together, she stopped suddenly in the midst of the produce section, looked around with an expression of awe on her face and with a sweep of her arm said, “Look!  Right here.  Everything we need to live.”

I often think of her comment when I’m shopping.  And happily, my favorite grocery store is arranged so that my shopping begins in the midst of the produce section’s bounty.

Remembering how simple my needs truly are allows me to shop mindfully, to be peacefully content and pleased with the items on my list even as I stroll past the dazzling displays of products and packaging meant to tempt me.  Instead of being pulled by some vague unnamed desire, I’m free to enjoy and marvel at the variety of the store’s offerings—the imported delicacies, the fragrances, the artistry of the packaging, the sheer abundance of it all.

To be aware of the simplicity of your needs is freeing.  It cleanses you from the grasping feeling that you somehow require more and more.  It allows you to feel contentment and ease.  It opens your heart to appreciation for the abundance with which you are surrounded and provides you with a satisfying enjoyment of all that you possess.  It shrinks your assessment of enough and expands your view of plenty.  And because it puts enough so easily into your hands, it kindles your generosity and inspires you to share.

The next time you’re in a grocery store, stop for a moment in the produce section and look around at the miracle of it.  Let it inspire you.  See what happens.