Happiness is an Understanding Friend
When I say that a best friend truly understands you, what do you suppose I really mean? Does understanding mean that your friend will sympathize with your hurts? Comfort and console you when you are disappointed? Stand on your side when you have been unjustly judged? Absolutely.
But it goes farther than that. It also means your friend understands that you don’t need to wallow in your hurt and disappointment or to carry a grudge. A true friend will remind you of your healing capacity, of the temporary nature of a wound, of your essential dignity and your ability to transcend misfortune, to reestablish your boundaries, to champion own your rights.
Do you need a meal? Some exercise? A change of scenery? A nap? A true friend sees your real needs and shows them to you.
A true friend helps you rediscover your perspective when you lose your balance. Maybe you need a reminder that you’re not a loser just because you make mistakes, that errors are for learning, not for self-blame. Maybe you need to see that the good in your life is far more abundant than today’s misfortune. Maybe you didn’t see that someone’s remark or action wasn’t intended as an attack but was no more an indication of his or her mood.
Best friends can do this because they pay attention to you. They notice what’s going on with you, and when you need it they address your needs with respect, belief in you, and positive regard. And that’s exactly the vantage point that helps the most, and the one from which we can most benefit as we practice being our own best friends.
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Posted in Happiness Hows, Self-Talk | Tags: Comfort, Friends, Happiness Hows, Happiness is, Understanding 
